Explain, Please…

There’s something I don’t understand. Actually, there are many countless things that I don’t understand, but right now, here’s something I simply don’t grok: why in the world, when you order some product online, have so many companies started sending congratulatory emails when the picked and purchased product has shipped?

They say, in giant, bold, orange letters, “Congratulations your order has shipped.”

I simply fail to understand why they’re bothering to extend good wishes to me for their shipping team doing its job.

Has this become, much like the Like button, another digital linguistic equivalent of a high-five?

“Smoke break! High-five!”

“Stuck a label on a box! High-five!”

“Scanned a barcode! High-f-… uh… Dude, maybe we should high-five the customer, too!”

The customers don’t need praise when you do your job. Really.

I wonder if we should start forwarding those types of emails to their marketing and shipping people and replying with:

“Congratulations! You shipped an order to a customer! Your contribution of hard work and dedication has increased the odds that you’ll remain employed with A Heartless Company. High-five!”

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