Because Pissed posted Desiderata. I like this one better:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1NAwlepnSs

You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here…
Deteriorata! Deteriorata!

Go placidly
Amid the noise and waste.
And remember what comfort there may be
In owning a piece thereof.

Avoid quiet and passive persons
Unless you are in need of sleep.

Rotate your tires.

Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself
And heed well their advice,
Even though they be turkeys.

Know what to kiss… and when!

Consider that two wrongs never make a right
But that three… do.

Wherever possible, put people on hold.

Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment
And despite the changing fortunes of time,
There is always a big future in computer maintenance.

Chorus

You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back.

Remember the Pueblo.

Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle and mutilate.

Know yourself.
If you need help, call the FBI.

Exercise caution in your daily affairs,
Especially with those persons closest to you.
That lemon on your left, for instance.

Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls
Would scarcely get your feet wet.

Fall not in love therefore;
It will stick to your face.

Gracefully surrender the things of youth:
The birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan
And let not the sands of time
Get in your lunch.

Hire people with hooks.

For a good time call 606-4311;
Ask for “Ken.”

Take heart amid the deepening gloom
That your dog is finally getting enough cheese.

And reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot
It could only be worse in Milwaukee.

Chorus

You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back.

Therefore, make peace with your god
Whatever you conceive him to be
Hairy thunderer, or cosmic muffin.

With all it’s hopes, dreams, promises and urban renewal
The world continues to deteriorate.

GIVE UP!

Reprise

You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back.

“The Second Amendment,” they’ll scream, “is about muskets!”

The antis like to use the argument about magazine capacity and how capacities over some arbitrary number are unnecessary in civilian, non-police arms because nutjobs can cause too much destruction too quickly.

Okay, let’s think that through but in terms of the atrocity committed by the recent nutjob.

Not including the first murder he committed at the initial crime scene, assorted accounts say the police response from first call to get on scene at the second crime scene was 20 minutes.

There were 27 people murdered in those 20 minutes. Assuming he used but one firearm and that it was loaded when the clock started, that means 26 reloads are needed in 20 minutes: 46 seconds per reload.

How long does it take to reload a musket? 15-20 seconds?

How long does it take for a good person to stop a psychopath? A second or two to see it, then another two or three to stop it.

The capacity and type of tool that Evil uses is irrelevant. It’s that Evil exists and that we must cope with it.

When Evil it rears its ugly head, you’ll have but seconds to identify it and send it back into the darkness.

“Nixy Pixy and the Pink Posix Princess”

You heard it here first.

Now they need cool character art and a kick-ass theme song.

It isn’t going to happen.

A few more words: really, chill the hell out.

Me? I’m going to work on Friday because it’s just another day.

Then I’m going to get up on Saturday and take Boy Wonder out to throw some lead when he gets off work in the morning and maybe we’ll try out my new muzzleloader.

Then we’ll come home and I’ll spend a bit of time on some chores around the house and maybe getting caught up on some work projects.

I’m not worried about TEOTWAWKI because I’m not out of my mind and I have responsibilities right here in reality.

That said, I do expect that there will be weirdos out there doing crazy stuff. But I’m certainly not worried about it.

—

Hey, does everybody remember these fruitloops?

If that’s the case, then you’d better get to it — there’s a lot of people out there speculating wildly and making accusations about the case.

Oh, and don’t forget all of the producers for the mainstream media outlets — probably best to start with them.

Can’t embed that particular clip so you’ll have to click through to see it.