Warning: computer content ahead…

Really? Am I the only person in the world who actually wants to use the OSX Dictation & Speech features? Trying to find support for some of the lesser-explored features is a nightmare.

There’s a text to speech feature in OSX that’s nice to have for, say, blind, poor-sighted, dyslexic, etc. But the default voices provided by Apple are sometimes hard to follow.

Newer versions of OSX claim to let us change that boring automaton articulation into something more agreeable…and understandable.

System Preferences > Dictation & Speech > Text to Speech > click the System Voice drop-down then click Customize…

Now, choose a voice (or two) that don’t suck. For example, select Samantha, Tom, Fiona, Tessa, whatever. Then click OK.

Because these are more natural-sounding voices, and not just simple algorithms, there’s a download involved. So, click Install at the “Are you sure you want to download and install the voices…”  Yes, I’m sure, you moronic lump of aluminum and silicon — why the hell else would I have clicked on OK just a moment ago?

Obligatory Apple Software license agreement — sure, I agree that I won’t reverse engineer anything. Really, who reads those things anyway?

Clicks Agree…

The little “Finding software” scroller pops up. Oh, good, it looks to be doing something useful, so I go away for a minute or two and come back to:

The software is currently unavailable. Voices aren’t available to download at this time. Try again later.

Been trying for about a week now. Same thing, every time. Makes me wonder if they exist at all.

If anyone ever gets those things to work, let me know, will ya?

Spotted first here.

I’m informed that King Neptune has claimed the (replica) HMS Bounty; she’s been lost at sea. A ship I’d have liked to see.

—

Update: Peter has a photo from the USCG of the Bounty going down. Also, there were mixed reports, but per the Bounty’s website, all 17 crew were in rafts as she sank.

Update #2: The USCG reported that they rescued 14 and were searching for two. Maybe the Bounty’s website wasn’t sure about how many were on board.

Update #3: USCG has video of the extraction.

In a large enterprise network, one so large and complex that it takes a staff of, say, 25 or 30 sysadmins to keep it running, this statement doesn’t even come close to serving as useful documentation:

1. Kickstart CentOS. This is a standard kickstart using Cobbler.

And?

What then?

Where is the Cobbler server?

How does one normally access it?

Who controls the administrative logins for Cobbler?

To which network or VLAN is it connected?

Is there DHCP on that network?

Where do we obtain IP addresses?

Who controls DNS?

What procedures are there for inventory control?

Do you have an exact, real-world example that can be used to guide us?

“Wow, that’s a lot of questions. Are you sure you’re a senior sysadmin? Why can’t you just do this?”

Well, I thought I was until I started reading something called documentation.

The best documentation will begin with an outline of the task or project, have a list of specific things that must be done, and also provide a real-world, step by step example of exactly what must be done to accomplish it along with enough information to educate your administrators about how and why things are done the way they are so they can make independent decisions.

Doing this may be perfectly obvious to the person who designed it, installed it, and has been maintaining it for the last ten years. But giving your otherwise experienced admins vague answers, or worse, sarcasm for not knowing what you know, will lead to frustration and alienation.

I’ve a vodka bottle, the contents of which, I’ve absolutely no intention of drinking.

However, a small amount of the contents of the vodka bottle, along with the ingredients in this photo, combined in the right way and at the right time, will create five glorious gallons of the most spectacular, dark, vanilla-scented Porter one’s palate has ever encountered…

Assorted grains, barley, hops, muslin hop & grain socks, some liquid malt extract, five vanilla beans, and some brewer’s yeast.

The worst part will be waiting for the yeast to do its job and convert all that sugar into a more useful compound.