Kilts, Parties, and Social Observations

On By JohnIn utilikilt1 Comment

Our annual company party was last night. Because of the weather (3 inches of completely unexpected snow), we didn’t have nearly as many people attend as we normally do. But my wife and I were determined to make it there.

This was a semi-formal event, so, naturally, I wore a tie. Oh, and of course, my favorite kilt.

Some other people wore semi-formal vestments, of course. And, being a tech company, there were a fair percentage of jeans and sweatshirts.

As expected, the kilt drew looks, comments, thumbs up — and not a single negative remark.

One attendee stuck in my mind. While I was waiting for my loverly date to return, a young woman of maybe 25 or 30 with a curious accent — I’d guess Northern European — approached me and a bit shyly asked, “May I ask you a personal question?”

It’s not my style to be discourteous to a complete stranger, especially given the circumstances (Duh, I’m in a kilt… at a company event… people ask questions), “Of course.”

“Are you wearing anything under there?”

Quickly, I had a few possible responses flash through my mind. The first possible response would have been, “Under where?” Though my standby to women who ask that one is usually, “Good girls don’t ask… bad ones find out for themselves.”

No, company function. Must remain respectable.

“Well,” I thought for a moment, “it is called a kilt.”

Her eyes widened. She gave a bit of a smirk and a nervous laugh. Then a response that left me a bit more confused: “Woah, that’s too much information!” Though I’d attribute that remark to nervousness on her part. She probably expected the “Under where?” response.

I smiled and she went off to catch up with her date.

Fast forward about an hour and things are winding down for the middle-aged crowd, so we’re getting ready to say our farewells to various attendees. I notice out of the corner of my eye, Ms. Curiosity nearing to walk behind me toward the exit. Then, quite possibly the funniest goddamned thing happened… as she passed behind me within a few feet, she dropped the napkin she was holding, then she dropped to her knees on the floor and, while half-heartedly reaching for the napkin, she did the classic I’m-a-ten-year-old-perv-dropping-coins trick and cocked her head to try getting an obvious peek up the kilt.

Hilarious.

Ask what’s under somebody’s clothing; get offended when the answer is “what do you think?” And funny as hell that the adult woman would act like a juvenile boy and go about trying to figure it out for herself.

Things I Learned from The Walking Dead

On By JohnIn uncategorizedLeave a comment

I did Mantracker, so here’s The Walking Dead. First, though, a few disclaimers: this is based on the first two or three episodes of the show, then I stopped watching it. Not that I didn’t want to, but because Dish Network, for reasons known only to their marketing department, dropped  AMC from my lineup.

On to the list, in no particular order:

  • Use the stereotyped racist guy as bait. A few problems solved.

  • Box vans don’t have seat belts in back–drive slowly. No need to rush.

  • Car alarms don’t keep going and going and going and going.

  • Handguns aren’t cannons. Have a clue how to use them.

  • Rifles do kick a bit.

  • No need to waste ammunition.

  • CB radios (handheld especially) are worthless for anything more than a few miles. Become a Ham and have a clue. :-).

  • Have a knife — it is quite possibly the most useful tool you can possess at any time, anywhere.

  • In the Zombie Apocalypse, everyone on the team should be armed.

  • Teams? Travel in them.

  • Have some useful skills to contribute to the team.

  • Have a plan.

  • Have a backup plan.

  • Don’t take chances if you don’t need to.

  • Only engage if you have superior numbers.

  • Drama? Avoid it. There are enough things to worry about without engaging in drama.

    • Okay, some of those are a bit petty. Some really only applicable to the impossibility of Zombie Apocalypse. Fun to ponder, nonetheless.

    Things I Learned From Watching Mantracker

    On By JohnIn uncategorized1 Comment

    In no particular order, here are a few things I’ve learned from watching Mantracker:

  • Understand your position, status, limitations, and goal — from that, build a plan.

  • Acknowledge that your trackers are professionals. They are probably far better at tracking than you are at evading. Therefore, never taunt your trackers, never attempt to track them, and recognize your lack of skill.

  • The tracker is the predator, you are prey.

  • Know how to navigate. Dead reckoning, maps, compasses. GPS isn’t always an option.

  • Two words: Shut. Up.

  • Know yourself and especially your limitations.

  • Know your gear and how to use it. Never abandon it.

  • Travel at night whenever possible.

  • Stay out of lights and off ridges, roads, and paths.

  • Use fire sparingly–not at all if possible.

  • Soap, aftershave, perfumes, smoking, and cooking are absolutely taboo.

  • Stay away from dry leaves and branches, wet grass, mud, sand, or anything that will make noise or leave tracks.

  • A team is a team. It must have a shared goal. This is not negotiable. Never abandon your team.

  • There is no “self-sacrifice” in a team. To steal a line from Starship Troopers, “Everyone fights. No one quits.”

  • 26km (or is it miles?) is a long damn way to move on foot, especially if one is out if shape or has bad footwear.

    • Fibonacci

    On By JohnIn uncategorizedLeave a comment

    Not elegant, but effective:

    #!/bin/bash
    n1=0
    n2=1
    c=1
    while [ 0==0 ]
    do
      s=`echo “$n1+$n2” | bc`
      count=`echo “$c+1” | bc`
      echo -e “$c\t$s”
      n1=$n2
      n2=$s
    done

    Threw it together to demonstrate to Boy Wonder how to devise the sequence. Actually, this is the one I started with in pseudocode on the side of the refrigerator then it morphed into the one above to make it work in bash:
    n1=0
    n2=1
    do
      result=n1+n2
      print result
      n1=n2
      n2=result
    loop
    Serves very little practical purpose other than to learn and see the relationship of numbers.

    And Now, For Something Completely Different…

    On By JohnIn uncategorizedLeave a comment

    I love technology. Click through for more awesome quadrotor video from the U. Penn GRASP lab:

    Yes, quite cool. Here are a few ideas:

    1. More quadrotors!
    2. Adjust the flight pattern to combine rotation and all three directions of travel in one or two combined movements instead of many separate movements. This one might be a bit tricker to implement effectively.
    3. Give them the ability to self-dock in a series of charging stations. Probably trivial to make them dock at a particular location (like one of, say, three charging stations). But to have a battery that can be charged quickly enough to be worthwhile — that might be somewhere in the future.
    4. Give them more parts to build larger, more awesome structures — like a shrine to our Robot Overlords.