Any organization whose primary business goal is to be everything to everyone and who requires that you create a fully portable profile.

I’m looking at you, Microsoft… particularly when it comes to XBox profiles.

Hey, any parents out there thinking about converting your kid’s local XBox 360 profile into a full-fledged Microsoft Gamertag with the ability to actually, you know, download game updates, join online games, and such: not possible.

After finding out that you can’t create the account on the Xbox, but have to use a computer. Then after finding out that the standard troubleshooting is “clear cache and reboot”. Then seeing that it’s just Microsoft’s blatant hatred for Macs. Then… then I finally stumbled across this little gem while searching the MS sites for more help with converting local profiles to full-fledged gamer accounts: “Note This feature is currently unavailable for child accounts. We are currently working on a solution. Please check back.”

And, a bit more frustrating is that I saw some forum posts from waaay back in 2012 that described the problem (and frustration with it). 2012. Four years ago.

Still. Not. Fixed.

Oh, by the way, if you’re thinking that you’ll just instead try to create a brand new account for your kid on the XBox.com site through their official process, then figure you’ll just add it to your XBox. Doesn’t work that way, my friend. “That account already belongs to a different profile. Please select another.”

You know what? Just give your kid an iPad and an allowance in the App Store. At least it actually works as advertised and as expected.