Solution for Occupiers

I just had a thought. It might take me a few minutes of babbling to think through it, but I think I have a good, workable solution for these occupy people.


Clearly, squatting in city parks and sidewalks, and complaining about how very hard society has been to you isn’t getting things done. It’s not getting you what you want you really want. Granted, we’re not exactly sure what it is that you want, but that’s beside the point.

If I understand the basics, you’re unhappy about paying bills or getting a job or something like that.

So, I think I’ve got a good solution for you. And the beauty is that you guys all get to just cut and run.

Here it is:
Get out of the sidewalks and parks, away from Wall Street and from the banks. Get away from all of those unfair rules that society has imposed upon you. Escape the towns and cities.

You are hereby free to go.

We’ll even help you out, just this one last time.

We’ll give you a nice island, well-detached from the rest of society — somewhere in the South Pacific — where you can all establish your own little perfect world where you don’t have to work or pay bills or taxes. You’ll have a chance to start from scratch and build it the way you think will work best for you.

We’ll even help you get there. We can make regular trips out on a large passenger ship — we’ll call it, I don’t know — The B. Ark and we’ll do it free of charge to drop you off in your new paradise. But you’ll understand, of course, that it’ll be a one way trip.

Envision it:
no parents or police or authority figures
no supervisors or managers to tell you to get to work
no accountability or responsibility
no bills or taxes

That, right there, sounds like paradise to me. No, really, I mean that sincerely, not sarcastically. I’m downright jealous about the prospect that you could have such an opportunity given to you.
To make it yours, you only need to take some real action: just show the initiative and you’ll have it.

Oh, Great — More OWS Stuff

I like Floyd. I especially like Meddle, Dark Side, Momentary Lapse of Reason, and Division Bell. I even appreciate The Wall…

Now, go watch the video on this page.

Consider that the current costs of a

  • concert ticket to The Roger Waters’ The Wall 2012 (the Denver show) $375 each — prices vary, but that’s the cheapest I’ve found so far
  • a newly-remastered, newly re-released box set of each Floyd album: $110 each — and there are several

I’ll be skipping the show for sure. No, not because I can’t afford it (I could easily save and take a few friends — that’s how finance works) but because Roger’s logic doesn’t follow.

It goes something like this:

  • 99% of people are being raped financially by 1% of people
  • We should redistribute the wealth from the 1% to the 99%
  • I’m rich beyond my wildest dreams because I’ve become part of the 1%
  • I’m going to charge you out the ass to see my show because I know that you’ll pay

Gargle my balls.

I’m going to go to Australian Pink Floyd instead. Sure, I know you’re a founding member of the original Tea Set, er Pink Floyd, but I simply don’t like you… so I’ll give my money to somebody else.

Carry on.


A clarification of the American bill of rights:

We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, delusional and other liberal, commie, pinko bedwetters.