For Amy, who, while discussing archery, said I was silly after I said, “Chicks with WEAPONRY: FTW!”
Still think I’m silly?
Speech therapy for Southern accents. My remarks, also left in the comments on Unc’s site, are…
—
Sounds like somebody is uncomfortable with themselves and found a business opportunity. “I’ll help you overcome that stereotype that half of american society has…” To which, I say, “Ah thank y’all kin suck mah bawlz.”
Just a clarification here: I’m not some English-or-die type. I speak three languages, but I also recognize that there are a few thousand primary languages around the globe and many, many dialects and subdialects of each. The big problem I have with this, uh, person, is that they’re using the term “therapy”. That suggests that it’s a disease, disorder, or medical problem. It’s a culture. Leave it be.
I just had a thought. It might take me a few minutes of babbling to think through it, but I think I have a good, workable solution for these occupy people.
Occupiers:
Clearly, squatting in city parks and sidewalks, and complaining about how very hard society has been to you isn’t getting things done. It’s not getting you what you want you really want. Granted, we’re not exactly sure what it is that you want, but that’s beside the point.
If I understand the basics, you’re unhappy about paying bills or getting a job or something like that.
So, I think I’ve got a good solution for you. And the beauty is that you guys all get to just cut and run.
You are hereby free to go.
We’ll even help you out, just this one last time.
We’ll give you a nice island, well-detached from the rest of society — somewhere in the South Pacific — where you can all establish your own little perfect world where you don’t have to work or pay bills or taxes. You’ll have a chance to start from scratch and build it the way you think will work best for you.
We’ll even help you get there. We can make regular trips out on a large passenger ship — we’ll call it, I don’t know — The B. Ark and we’ll do it free of charge to drop you off in your new paradise. But you’ll understand, of course, that it’ll be a one way trip.
Envision it:
no parents or police or authority figures
no supervisors or managers to tell you to get to work
no accountability or responsibility
no bills or taxes
Time to get together stuff to brew a new batch of porter. And, until it’s brewed, fermented, and bottled, I can admire some of the awesome labels (spotted here) that the microbrews put together for their awesome beers.
Just when I was almost starting to think that maybe Canada’s schools weren’t quite as psychotic as US schools. Link to Unc’s.
Pretty soon they’ll ban rocks, pens and pencils, books, prohibit children from wearing belts, and maybe even tie their precious little hands and feet together to prevent them doing anything remotely human.