Not a Disorder

Speech therapy for Southern accents. My remarks, also left in the comments on Unc’s site, are…

Sounds like somebody is uncomfortable with themselves and found a business opportunity. “I’ll help you overcome that stereotype that half of american society has…” To which, I say, “Ah thank y’all kin suck mah bawlz.”

Just a clarification here: I’m not some English-or-die type. I speak three languages, but I also recognize that there are a few thousand primary languages around the globe and many, many dialects and subdialects of each. The big problem I have with this, uh, person, is that they’re using the term “therapy”. That suggests that it’s a disease, disorder, or medical problem. It’s a culture. Leave it be.

Solution for Occupiers

I just had a thought. It might take me a few minutes of babbling to think through it, but I think I have a good, workable solution for these occupy people.


Clearly, squatting in city parks and sidewalks, and complaining about how very hard society has been to you isn’t getting things done. It’s not getting you what you want you really want. Granted, we’re not exactly sure what it is that you want, but that’s beside the point.

If I understand the basics, you’re unhappy about paying bills or getting a job or something like that.

So, I think I’ve got a good solution for you. And the beauty is that you guys all get to just cut and run.

Here it is:
Get out of the sidewalks and parks, away from Wall Street and from the banks. Get away from all of those unfair rules that society has imposed upon you. Escape the towns and cities.

You are hereby free to go.

We’ll even help you out, just this one last time.

We’ll give you a nice island, well-detached from the rest of society — somewhere in the South Pacific — where you can all establish your own little perfect world where you don’t have to work or pay bills or taxes. You’ll have a chance to start from scratch and build it the way you think will work best for you.

We’ll even help you get there. We can make regular trips out on a large passenger ship — we’ll call it, I don’t know — The B. Ark and we’ll do it free of charge to drop you off in your new paradise. But you’ll understand, of course, that it’ll be a one way trip.

Envision it:
no parents or police or authority figures
no supervisors or managers to tell you to get to work
no accountability or responsibility
no bills or taxes

That, right there, sounds like paradise to me. No, really, I mean that sincerely, not sarcastically. I’m downright jealous about the prospect that you could have such an opportunity given to you.
To make it yours, you only need to take some real action: just show the initiative and you’ll have it.